You know you're a third world mom when...

• You go to pick up your child from his nap he and his crib are covered, and I mean COVERED, with ants.  He isn't bothered by them, and if truth be told, probably considers them to be playmates.

• Your toddler throws an entire roll of toilet paper in the toilet.  You are more upset that it is the last roll of nice, plush, double roll American toilet paper than at your child's misbehavior.

• UHT processed, unrefrigerated shelf milk is all they have ever known.  (Blech)

• You put a capful of bleach into the bathtub with the kids every night.  You know, just in case.

• Peanut butter and jelly is a privilege, not a right.  

• Your kids don't even know what a real christmas tree looks like because the closest thing you could find is a Charlie Brown twig.  

• At a stoplight a beggar walks up to your window and knocks repeatedly and maybe even kisses your side mirror.  Your kids don't bat an eyelash.

• You start (painstakingly) making your own almond milk. 

• You let your kids ride in the front seat if you're driving within the neighborhood (i.e. no big or busy streets).  Upon arriving in country you were horrified to see the other American parents do this and swore you would NEVER stoop to such levels.  But it's awesome.

• You realize almost nothing in American parenting books applies.   

• McDonald's is a place you would actually take your kids to eat. 

Thanks Mary for helping me compile this list!